


Triangle

by The WinneplaneO Girls (beckers), thelunaticfringe



Category: Hanson, The Moffatts
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 08:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckers/pseuds/The%20WinneplaneO%20Girls, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelunaticfringe/pseuds/thelunaticfringe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I love them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Triangle

**Author's Note:**

> From 2005.

            I love them both. 

            I know--you're saying I can't be in love with two people at the same time.  It's not possible.  Well, if it's not possible, than I am achieving an impossible task--I do love them both.  So much it hurts.  I can't choose between them; if I leave one of them, I'll be leaving behind a piece of myself. 

            My twin lovers--identical, yet so different.  Neither of them knows about the other; each relationship is a clandestine one; known to no one except us.  Our families wouldn't approve, the public would be scandalized.  And, worst of all, if they ever did find out about each other, it would break the bond they have.  And I would be responsible. 

            Clint--so insecure and loving.  The trust he places in me warms me, but it causes me pain because of my betrayal.  I reassure him over and over again how much I love him, but I know that if he ever found out, it would destroy that childlike trust, and he would never be the same again. 

            And Bob--his love is unconditional; total and complete.  He isn't one to do anything half-heartedly, and I know his heart would shatter if he ever found out I wasn't completely faithful to him.  If he only knew, in my heart I am. 

            I am faithful, to both of them.  My heart belongs to both of them.  Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way.  I know I will eventually have to make a choice, and no one will win.  Because, if I have to choose between them, I will choose neither.  It's a choice I can't make. 

            I am torn; I know it is only a matter of time before one of them finds out.  I don't know what I'll do when that happens; none of us will ever be the same.  The bond between Clint and Bob will be irreparably severed, and I--I will be alone.  Better than I deserve, probably--this has gone careening out of control, and I should have stopped it a long time ago.  But, I'm weak, and now, here we are.  Three points on a triangle, each of us unable to stand alone, but also unable to stand together. 

            Maybe the best thing is to remove myself altogether.  Clint and Bob would never reveal our relationship--to anyone, not even each other.  It would hurt them, as it would hurt everyone, but, in the long run, maybe it would be best.  That hurt would fade in time, but if they ever found out about each other, they would be reminded of my betrayal every time they looked at each other, or even looked in the mirror. 

            I love you, Bob.  I love you, Clint.  I love you both, and I hope that knowledge makes this easier. 

*     *     *     *     * 

            Isaac and Zachary Hanson stand outside Taylor's hotel room, their faces masks of shock.  Zac is trying to hold back tears; he is fifteen, and too old to show so much emotion.  However, his will is weak, and he bursts into deep, wracking sobs as the gurney is wheeled out, Taylor's lifeless body covered by a sheet. 

            The Moffatts--Scott, Dave, Clint, and Bob--stand off to the side.  They had been slated to perform at a charity concert the next day, and had shared an amicable dinner just hours before.  All of them are shocked at this turn of events--although Taylor had been a bit withdrawn during dinner, nothing had foreshadowed his suicide. 

            Clint stands with his jaw clenched.  His heart is thudding painfully in his chest.  His Taylor is lying there, dead, and Clint exercises all of his self-control not to throw himself on top of Taylor's body and refuse to let go.  Taylor would not have wanted the spectacle; would not have wanted his brothers or Clint's brothers to suffer the backlash of Clint and Tay's relationship.  So, Clint suffers silently, knowing that when he goes to his room after everyone has left, he will spend a sleepless night--the first of many without Taylor. 

            Bob carefully controls his expression; he can't betray the pain of the knife cutting through his heart.  His world is being wheeled away, hidden under a generic white hospital sheet.  Taylor deserves so much more; an ending like this doesn't fit the beautiful person Taylor was.  His first instinct is to lash out--to destroy something--but he doesn't.  He can't tarnish the memory of Taylor.  Taylor was the golden child, pure and good, and Bob will not take that away from him in death. 

            Bob and Clint both look up and their gazes lock.  Each can read the pain in the other's eyes; unbeknownst to Taylor, Bob and Clint know.  They had planned to talk to Taylor the next day after the performance; to let him know that he would not have to choose.  

            Now, both of them have to live with the fact that it's too late.


End file.
